Dr. Hugh’s Miracle Weight Loss Program

September 19, 2010

Sorry, this isn't me - yet.

It all started when my wife and I were at the local vegetable market.  I was standing off to the side when I saw my wife and the market lady in a serious discussion – pointing over at me.  Later I asked my wife what that was all about.

“She thought that you might be a retired Thai soap opera star” my wife said (which is not that farfetched since I am Eurasian and just about 50% of all Thai soap opera stars are half-Thai and half western).  “She said that you were handsome enough but when she saw your big belly she realized you were just another overweight Farang.” (Note for Expat men just arriving in Thailand: Everyone will call you handsome no matter how old or fat you are. So don’t let it go to your head.)

Eurasian Movie Star

After many years of having a waist line that seems to have had a mind of its own, I have decided to do something about it.  For a long time I had no idea that my belly was doing its own thing without consulting with me.  I would look in the mirror and I thought I looked just fine.  The fact was that I always looked at myself straight on.  Then finally I caught a glimpse of myself from the side. “What the hell was that sticking out of my middle? There used to be a six-pack there.” I thought.

This isn't me either, but close

Well, that market lady let me know.  Now if my belly was holding me back from movie stardom, then it was time to lose the belly and start dreaming of the silver screen.

Caveat:  What follows could be construed as medical advice.  I am not a doctor, even though I play one on the Internet.  So any medical or exercise advice I give you may want to seriously ignore. Better yet, get a real doctor’s advice before doing any dieting or exercise.

The easiest way to describe my miracle weight loss program is to compare it to another thing I am an expert in, giving financial advice. I have found an absolutely flawless system for making money in the stock market.  If you use this system profits will be guaranteed.  Ready?  “Buy low, and sell high.”  No secret, right?  The “what” to do is the easy part.  The “how” seems to be a bit more difficult.  It is the same with losing weight.

I can guarantee that you will lose weight if you follow this simple advice.  “Take in fewer calories than you use.”  Again the “what” is simple.  In fact, if you follow that advice long enough you will lose so much weight that, theoretically of course, you would disappear.

Dr. Hugh’s Miracle Weight Loss program

Step 1: If your weight is stable, but more than you would like it to be, then observe how much you eat during each day.  That means all your meals, snacks, drinks, nibbles, etc.  Be completely honest with yourself.

Step 2: Eat less than that.

Step 3: Do that long enough and you will disappear.

Okay, I’m just kidding.  The above is the “what” you need to do.  What follows is “how” I have been doing it.  There are 2 parts to the miracle diet.  First you need to take in fewer calories than you are used to, and second you need to burn a few more.

Part 1 – Taking in fewer calories

Patience

Take your time.  Since losing weight should lengthen your life span you don’t have to rush.  You have lots of time now.  You won’t lose all the weight you want in a week.  The only way to do that is liposuction.  And I have ruled that out as cheating.  There is another way.  You can lose as much as 5 kilos overnight.  It is called “food poisoning”.  I recommend holding that one back to use only as a last resort.

Achievable goals

Set goals that are achievable.  My goal is to lose 5 kilos and to keep them off.  Sure it would be nice to be like Oprah and wheel in a wagon of 50 pounds of lard and tell everyone that is how much weight you lost.  You know what.  Those 50 pounds of lard are back where they began. I want my loss to be permanent.

Cut out the bad stuff

Cokes, cookies, cakes, potato chips, Thai kanom, Mickie Ds, KFC, eating whipped cream directly from an aerosol spray can, should all be cut down or eliminated if possible. The hardest for me to cut out was Coke.  I think that there are more people in the world addicted to Coke the soft drink than coke the drug.   I was thinking of putting ice cream on this list but I am not that sadistic. Every once in a while I eat something really fatty like ice cream, or fried chicken skin,

Friend chicken skin - To die for

or mangoes with sticky rice, not much but enough to make me feel good.  I mean, a life without fatty foods is not very much of a life, is it?

Cut down

Remember how much you usually eat. Then cut it down.  One scoop of rice becomes half a scoop.  Two bowls of noodles becomes one.  A banana becomes a half.  A half-dozen cookies becomes 3. Instead of the 4 scoops of ice cream at a sitting that you are used to, settle for 2.  When I drink juice, instead of pouring a full glass I pour half a glass and fill the rest with soda water.  Tastes great and is less filling.

Here is what I ate today: 1 small Chinese meat bun and a half glass of pineapple juice for breakfast; a bagel with cream cheese and smoked salmon with a few potato chips for lunch; a papaya salad, chicken thigh and leg and a small baked potato for dinner; and lots of water and a few peanuts.

I want to eat more but don’t need to since am really not hungry.  If you don’t know how yet, meditation can help you differentiate what you “desire” from what you “need”. If you want to know what my normal food intake was, just triple the above.

Alcohol

Try to limit yourself to half of what you used to drink. If you are used to drinking 6 bottles of beer at a sitting (and what Exapt isn’t), then drink only 3.  I know that is a sacrifice, but remember, those movie cameras are waiting.  I myself don’t drink alcohol, used to, then got smart, and it has nothing to do with weight loss.

Alternatives

When you find yourself really wanting to eat, sometimes we want to eat even when we aren’t hungry, go take a shower, have sex, smell some flowers, practice your golf swing, play with your dog, or anything else that is really pleasant to do that doesn’t involved ingesting calories.

Motivation

Have I mentioned that movie star thing?  I am sure you can find some motivation of your own.  And tell as many people as you can what you are up to.  The more people rooting for you, lending support, the better.  And if you have a blog that is read by a couple thousand people you might want to write about it.

Feedback

Weigh yourself regularly to see how you are doing.  Regularly, for me, means every morning, before and after each meal, before going to bed, and any other time I pass by the scale, which I have conveniently placed in the middle of my bedroom.  Your level of obsessive-compulsive behavior is a good indicator of your chances for success.

Part 2 –  Burning more calories

Sun Salutation

The simple answer is to do more than you used to.  If you used to walk for 10 minutes a day, now walk for 20.  If you have stairs in the house, find a reason to go up and down them (except don’t be going down to the kitchen too often).  I have found that a simple yoga exercise called the “Sun Salutation” is very easy to do and will get your heart pumping.  Here is a link to a YouTube video to show you how it is done. Lift a few light weights and do some push ups while watching TV.  Find a project that will make you move around more than you normally do.  I just finished laying paving stones for a walkway.  Tomorrow I mow the lawn.  I think this, more than the weight loss, has made my wife happiest.

So how have I done?

I set my goal at losing 5 kilos (about 11 pounds) – not much but a very achievable goal. I achieved it in about 3 weeks. Not movie star status, Brad Pitt has nothing to be worried about, yet. I haven’t missed much although I think of Coke all the time. But I feel a little better when I look at my side view in the mirror now. I will plateau here for a while and then set another goal of 5 more kilos. Maybe more after that.

I am sure that it won’t be long before I will be able to say the following.

“All right Mr. De Mille, I’m ready for my close-up.”

You should have an achievable goal

Weight Loss Program update:

6 kilos and counting.  Was going to stop at 5 and plateau for a while but it’s turning out to be too much fun.  On to 10 kilos.

Couple of days later:  7.5 kilos and counting.  I am afraid that I might be becoming anorexic.  Told a friend how much I had lost and she said that her son-in-law just lost over 20 kilos.  If I did that I would be the same weight I was in college… ah, maybe… No, better stick to the original goal.

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5 Responses to “Dr. Hugh’s Miracle Weight Loss Program”

  1. Bob said

    Congratulations Hugh on your commitment to weight loss / better health. Oh, and best of luck with your pursuit of fame in Thaili-wood!

    I joined the weight loss ‘team’ about a month ago, having experienced much the same situation as you (seeing myself from the side was shocking, not that head on it much better). I selected the Atkins approach which has proven to be effective, although I lack a scale to know exactly how much I have lost. I rely more on feedback from people I see less often and the fit of my attire. I have scheduled my annual physical at Bumrungrad Hospital in Bangkok for the beginning of October. Possibly the doctor will not have to suggest I see a nutritionist this time. Although he may want me to take anti cholesterol drugs J

    As you say patience is one of the keys to shedding the excess weight and keeping it off. My doctors for years have been suggesting the same approach as you mention in your post, just eat less at each meal. I tried that approach many times but never had good long term results. I hope this time I can adjust my intake to match the needs of my body.

    I have found the Atkins diet to be very easy to stay on, having given up some of the challenging items years ago (like Coke / sweet carbonated beverages & alcohol). I miss some things (veggies & pasta for example) but the need to have them is tempered by as you say, need vs. want thoughts. I am never really hungry on this plan. I actually eat more than I have in the past. Yesterday’s menu was: Breakfast – 4 egg ham & cheese omelet with a sliced jalapeño & bacon, lunch – I had a t-bone steak, 3 lobster tails, scallops and a small scoop of diced fresh tomatoes (special meal to celebrate the US Air force birthday, but I normally would eat a similar volume), Dinner – 2 oz of low carb trail mix, normally I would eat more / full meal but I worked late. I add to this drinking only water, about 5-6 liters a day. As I say I have not been hungry between meals from the start.

    I have yet to find the right exercise program. I did start walking, which is something I like, but my job, schedule and location make keeping that commitment difficult. That is something I guess I will have to work on in the future. Maybe when I retire in Chiang Mai next year I can go full guns into that J

    The true test to all this will be in long term maintenance, and following the advice of my doctor. I know that I am more aware of the correct serving size now and committed to keeping my weight down. I want to make sure I can hang onto this body and life as long as possible so I can collect all (hopefully more) than I paid into the Social Security fund J

    Eat healthy!!

    • Lots of luck with your weight loss program. If you decide to get a scale (seems like you are less obsessive compulsive than I) then get one that shows 1/10 of a kilo/lbs. And then you can celebrate for every tenth of a kilo lost. Also, lots of luck with that Social Security thing. Here is a quote from my book Retired Life in Thailand about when I decided to take my SS.

      “So I did the math. If I take the money this year, at 62 years old, I would start getting a monthly payment immediately. If I wait until 66, I’d get $400 more per month. But it will take until I am 72 years old before I make up the difference. By waiting until 70 years old before taking SS I would get almost $1,000 more per month, but would have to wait until I was over 78 years old before seeing a difference.
      I’m taking the money. I’ll worry about it after I turn 78.”

      It has been 2 years now and am I glad I started taking SS early. But everyone has to answer that question for him/herself.

  2. I just saw Bill Clinton on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. See how much weight he’s lost? Maybe he is on Dr. Hugh’s Miracle Weight Loss Program. I’ll have to check.

  3. […] 8.5 kilos (19 lbs) and counting (in 2 months). I’m now wearing pants I had put away years ago because they didn’t fit anymore. Had to buy a new belt. Feeling great. Even had a scoop of ice cream yesterday. Look here to see Dr. Hugh’s Miracle Weight Loss Program. […]

  4. […] village here. No wonder everyone gets fat in the U.S. I gained 4 kilos on my trip. Back to the old Dr. Hugh’s Miracle Weight Loss Program for […]

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