Nothing to Complain About

I try not to complain. Lots of expats living in lots of different countries spend a great deal of time and energy complaining about their current plight. Although I try to avoid this useless activity I do have a complaint to make. It is about Expats in Thailand who are always complaining.

I am retired in Thailand and I feel that being retired here is like being invited to hang out at a friend’s beautiful summer estate, with great food, tropical weather, and smiling people surrounding me. It’s not paradise, but pretty close. So I’m not going to waste my time complaining about things that aren’t perfect here and that I have no control over. That would be fruitless and, to continue the metaphor, it would be rude to my Thai hosts.

If you have lived here for a while then I am sure you have met the complaining Expat I am referring to. Your initial conversation might go something like this:

Expat: Hi. &*%$#  it’s hot today! And the traffic coming here was terrible. The Thais have to learn how to drive. At least I am glad I wasn’t stopped by one of those corrupt policemen. The beer here is overpriced and pretty much tastes like water. And the food is too spicy. And they are always trying to overcharge me. Everyone here is trying to cheat you. And the ignorant waiters can’t speak a word of English and when I speak Thai to them they pretend that they don’t understand a word I say. Later today I have to go to immigration. Why do they make it so hard to get a dammed visa? You’d think with all the money we spend here they would treat us better. By the way, my name is George.

Complaining about the state of things in Thailand seems to be many Expats’ main occupation. Here are two published complaints that I actually recently read online from Expats talking about their “difficult” life in Thailand.

1. “The women at the market tie the rubber bands too tight around the plastic bags. I can never get them off.”

Wow! That must be a hardship. To solve the problem simply grow your thumb nail a little longer and see how easy the rubber bands come off if you pick at them a little. Hey, when I first came to Thailand, when you bought food in the market it was wrapped in banana leaves that were closed up using a bamboo toothpick. Today’s Expats would have probably complained that it was too hard to pull the toothpicks out.

2. Thai writing has no spaces between words. Why can’t they put spaces in? It would make it easier for everyone.

Well, for the complaining Expat maybe. If you are learning to read Thai and have a complaint about there not being any spaces between the words then maybe it’s time you grew up. I mean, most Thais begin reading when they are 3 and 4 years old. I don’t think your complaining is going to change the language. (BTW, Cuneiform Sumerian, considered the world’s first written language, didn’t have any spaces either. And, I’m guessing here, the Sumerians learned how to read okay.)

Complaining is more than a waste of time. It is depressing. I learned to stop complaining when I moved to Seattle. I would complain and be depressed about the rain. Talk about complaining about things you can’t change. I wasn’t going to change the weather. I could complain and be depressed most of the year or I could learn to change myself. Changing myself was going to be a little easier. I decided to begin to like the rain – just like most Seattleites do. That changed everything. I love Seattle now; even during the gloomy eight months of the year when it rains.

I am not saying one should be a Pollyanna. There are lots of things I would want different here. I wish they would get rid of the hot season, and the mango and sticky rice season should last all year, and if durian just didn’t smell so bad, and if the rivers just wouldn’t flood, and if the Thai language didn’t have those stupid tones.

But until I have control over these things that I cannot change, I might as well change myself. I have always felt that if 51% of your days are happy then you’re a winner. For me, living in Thailand, it is more like 98%.

I really have nothing to complain about.

Note: A 44 year old American that I know who was living here and who was setting up a factory suddenly died of a massive heart attack. He had invested closed to $1 million in equipment and buildings. He died leaving no will in Thailand. He did have a will in the U.S. which may or may not be valid here.

Of course at 44 no one thinks that the worst can happen but because no instructions were given about the estate, here is what is up in the air now: Who takes ownership of the company? What happens to the expensive equipment? Who pays the outstanding bills? How do the workers get paid what is owed them? Who owns his house, his condo, and his vehicle? What is to be done with his remains? Who pays for that and the hospital bills?

I was shocked and saddened to hear of his passing but, thinking in Buddhists terms, his troubles are now over. But without leaving a will, boy has he caused lots of troubles for those he left behind. Condolences to his friends and family and I am hoping that all these legal problems eventually get worked out.

RIP

Home Again

The test to see if you are really committed to retirement overseas is when you go back for a visit to the place where you were born and then return to your place of retirement you say, “I’m Home again.”

We got off the Korean Air plane back in Chiang Mai at close to midnight, after about 24 hours of traveling.  And at that time of the night it was already hotter than the warmest day we spent in the States, and the fragrance of the night blooming jasmine was in the air, and people were smiling, and we knew that we had returned to our Home.

I don’t travel back to the U.S. often but with the birth of our two grandchildren in the past 20 months and my son’s return from Afghanistan we thought that this would be a good time. Since my son’s next duty station will be the Pentagon he and his growing family are renting a home in a beautiful suburb of Washington D.C. in northern Virginia. I think the house is on the same block as the Wisteria Lane of Desperate Housewives – at least it looks similar. That also makes it just about as far away in climate and culture from our home in Chiang Mai as one can get and still be on the same planet.

With that in mind I thought I would take this opportunity to compare and contrast the lifestyle that I have now with what I would have had if we had retired back in the U.S. Now that things are still clear in my mind it is a good time to do an assessment.

Weather: This April in northern Virginia was quite nice. Unlike Thailand, where the weather is basically the same every day, we had daily highs that ranged from the low 50s to the mid 80s. Right now in Chiang Mai it has been 99˚ (37° C) every day but today. Today it is 102° (39˚C). The difference, when it gets colder you simply put on more clothes. Right now I am sitting at my computer with nothing but my glasses on. And I am still sweating.

And the air! Wow, I had forgotten how a deep breath of cool crisp air could feel. It was like champagne for your lungs. The smog-filled hot season air of Chiang Mai is like breathing mud in comparison.

We got to the States just as the cherry blossoms and the flowering dogwoods were in bloom. Even Chiang Mai’s scarlet colored flame trees and golden cascade trees, in bloom right now and beautiful in their own right, can’t compare with one of the flowering cherry trees, a gift from Japan 100 years ago this year, when it is in full bloom.

One consolation I have is that I know that the weather in Virginia in August will be just about as hot as Chiang Mai is right now, except Virginia will be more humid. And in December Chiang Mai will be one of the most beautiful places on the planet and Virginia will be freezing. But Virginia is one of the good-weather states to be living in. Lucky my son didn’t move to North Dakota.

Food: Although I love my diet here in Thailand, I did miss some American foods.  So I made good every opportunity to get what I was missing. Here is what I ate, Taco Bell (twice), Brayers Ice Cream (2 half gallons, chocolate and butter almond), Costco hot dogs (many and daily, 4 on the first day), Popeye’s Chicken (only once since more than that leads to heart failure), and about 12 slices of Papa John’s Pizza at one sitting (not as good as New York’s but better than anything here), English Muffins, and lots cheese and whole milk. We also twice ate at an all-you-can-eat Asian buffet ($7, less than many hotel buffets here). I gained 3 kilos in 2 weeks. The math says that if I lived in the U.S. for a whole year that I would gain 78 kilos. I don’t doubt it.

Size: Everything is big in the U.S., from the shopping malls to the supermarkets (there was one aisle at Safeway that was about 50 meters long and contained only breakfast cereals), to the size of the cars people drive (a U.S. car’s door probably weighs as much as a whole Thai car because of safety regulations). We were in a small suburban town and the bookstore at the local mall was bigger than the biggest bookstore in Thailand. The houses in our suburban neighborhood averaged about 5,000 sq. ft. or about 1 ½ times the size of my house here. A one family house there would be enough for almost a whole village here.

But the size difference that is the most striking is that of the people. Of course we all know that westerners are taller and larger than Asians but something strange has happened. Americans have gotten absolutely huge. Seeing people in the 200 plus kilo range is quite normal now. In fact, I noticed a whole sub-group of people so large that they had to have assistance to be able to walk from point A to point B. The smaller ones just used walkers. The larger ones needed personal scooters – just to get around Wal-Mart where they were buying more food.

This brought back the memory of a Kurt Vonnegut sci-fi novel I read long ago. In it the Chinese had genetically reduced their sized so that they would be using less of the world’s resources. They were now only a few inches tall and because they were so small they would only use a small amount of oxygen and water and very little food. It would seem that in reality the Americans had gone the other way. Judging from their size alone those Wal-Mart scooter riders must use 4 times the resources an average Thai does.

And if I had stayed any longer, eating Popeye’s Chicken and Brayers Ice Cream, and Costco hot dogs, I would probably be riding a scooter too.

Other stuff: Commercials on TV for medicines that cure diseases I had never heard of (instead of the whitening gel commercials you see here). The commercial would introduce the medicine in the first 10 seconds. The rest of the commercial, while still showing happy healthy people living wonderful lives, would list all the possible side effects of the drug. Call your doctor if you experience any of the following side effects: Kidney failure, nausea, miscarriage, suicidal thoughts, seizures, dry mouth, impotence, low sperm count, death. And then for some reason it would list as a side effect the exact same condition you were taking the drug to cure (One of the side effects of an allergy medication I saw advertised was an “allergic reaction”. I couldn’t make this stuff up.) No wonder Americans pay so much for health care. It seems that it’s all these drugs that they are taking that are making them sick.

And speaking of TV. HD TV in the U.S. is unbelievably clear. I watched the Masters tournament and saw every blade of grass and every azalea bloom. The trouble is that when you watch a show or movie in HD you can see every pore and pimple and imperfection on the actors’ faces. I like my Thai TV where the soft non-HD TV picture (HD TV here can’t compare) acts like an air brush and makes everyone look like they have perfect skin. I can easily suspend disbelief. But the NBA was really cool to watch in HD.

I never went anywhere in a car that did not have a GPS system (you know, the one that goes “Turn right in 500 yards. You have reached your destination”). People even give them names. My brother’s GPS system is called “Joyce the Voice”. I don’t think anyone knows how to get anywhere without one anymore.

And the streets here are empty and sterile. I went out for a walk every morning and the only people I saw on the street where a few other exercisers and one or two dog walkers. Comparatively, Thailand’s streets and alleys are a soup of humanity.

And here is a really big difference. Not once did an 18 year old hottie smile invitingly at this 65 year old geezer.

All-in-all our trip was great. Got to spend time with my son and daughter-in-law and meet our new grandchildren. Pikun became a doting grandma immediately and was inseparable from the little one. My brother and his wife came to visit as did a nephew and his fiancé. And my best friend from college drove 7 hours just to visit for an afternoon. We also visited the DC monuments and Quantico Marine Base, and a couple of Civil War battlefields – and Costco, and Home Deport, and JC Penny, and Trader Joes, and the PX at Quantico, and of course Wal-Mart.

So, even though I’ll probably gain a bunch of weight again, the U.S. is still on our list of top destinations to visit.

Milestone: This last month we passed the 40,000^th visit to our blog. I hope the musings on these pages have helped a bit with those in the process of making a decision on where to retire. Lots of luck to all.

Interview: Recently I was interviewed by the good people at Retire Early Lifestyle about retiring to Thailand. Check it out. Their site retireearlylifestyle.com contains lots of great general information about retiring, especially retiring early. The writers, Billy and Alaisha Kaderli, spend most of their time in Mexico and travel extensively. Sometimes they even get up here to Chiang Mai. They retired at the age of 38.

Going to America

This post will be a short one due to the fact that I am now in the  US of A visiting my son, a major in the Marine Corps, just returned from from spending the last 12 months in the garden country of Afghanistan. Also, we got to meet our new grandchildren Natalie, 20 months, and Brandon, 5 months, for the first time. So, as you can see, I am somewhat preoccupied at the moment.

But I did want to share this: If you are thinking of, or are already, settled into your retirement overseas, then this is something you will need to consider. After you leave, life will continue on for your family and loved ones who remain behind. And even though Skype and Facebook will allow you to keep in contact and see the changes happening with them, it can never be the same as holding your grandson while he spits up on your shoulder or having your granddaughter sitting on your lap teaching you how to navigate through her iPad folder and pull up her personal games and music (20 months old!!!).

And here is another thing that surprised me: How good I would feel after landing at Dulles International after 24 hours in an aluminum cylinder and seeing Ol’ Glory waving in the wind and hearing the recorded announcement “For U.S. citizens returning from abroad, Welcome Home.” And to take a really deep breath in the chilled clean air (sans Chiang Mai Smog and 95 degree weather) and feel my lungs completely fill up for the first time in weeks – like champagne for the lungs.

And then there is how good all natural Bryers Ice Cream tastes, as do those huge Costco hot dogs, and a nice thick prime rib. And speaking of “thick” how about American toilet paper? And then there’s my son’s new HD TV which is almost too good. I mean, I love Tina Fey and her show 30 Rock is one of the funniest shows ever, but I don’t need to see every pore in her face. But the NBA games almost look like they are in 3D and I am looking forward to watching the Master’s Golf Tournament and seeing the individual blades of grass and every azalea bloom. Although I love my home and life in Thailand, I have to admit that there are still lots of good stuff here in America.

Well, it is off to do some touring of our nation’s capitol, the Mall with its cherry trees in bloom, the Lincoln Memorial to relive the 1968 March on the Pentegon that I attended, the Smithsonian and then to take the kids to the National Zoo. Lots of stuff to fit into a couple of weeks. I’ll write more about retiring to Thailand when I get back. Until then, the following is what I am up to.

Brandon teaching us how to be grandparents.

 

Natalie teaching me how to use her iPad.

Why I Retired to Thailand

I just heard from a U.S. Consulate official here in Chiang Mai, Thailand that there are more than 8,000 registered Americans in just this town alone. Since I myself am not registered at the consulate and neither, it seems, is anyone else I know, it would appear that there are lots more than 8,000 Americans here. And we are one of the smaller contingents of peoples from around the world who have chosen to make Thailand their retirement homes.

Besides the wonderful people, the great food, the exotic atmosphere, the winterless weather, the constant requirement to learn new stuff, what makes Thailand so inviting for those looking to retire?  First let’s look at what generally makes for a good retirement. Here’s what I was looking for (Note: I would be looking for these things anywhere, whether in the U.S. or abroad).

• Affordability
• Housing
• Health Care
• Access (to family, books, news, sports, popular culture, etc.)

Note: I write about lots of these topics on my blog so to keep this post short I have provided links to my blog post where you can get some more information about retirement to Thailand.

Affordability:  I live off of Social Security along with some other savings that I have. That’s not a lot and if we had to remain living back in Seattle, a lovely place which we miss greatly, we would be quite hard pressed to make ends meet and would probably have to take on some kind of part-time work to survive. Thailand, although not the cheapest place to live in the world, offers a very affordable lifestyle for the amount of income that we now have. I have written on my blog about that in Cost of Living in Thailand Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3.

Housing:  We live in a very nice 4 bedroom house with about an acre of land with gardens and trees where we raise chickens, ducks, rabbits, and started a conservation project taking in endangered mountain tortoises.  Foreigners cannot own land in Thailand but there are lots of loopholes that people use to get around that. (If you do want to buy, try reading my blog post on Owning a House in Thailand – A Caveat). My advice is to rent instead. To rent a house like mine would cost about $600 a month.  A very nice one bedroom place, with a garden, and all the amenities would cost between $250 and $400 a month.

Health Care:  The best thing to do about health care is to not get sick in the first place.  Here in Thailand we eat fresh vegetables and fruits daily, get lots of exercise in the garden, and take walks in the surrounding mountains. We don’t have a swimming pool but there is a beautiful pool and fitness center 5 minutes from here that costs $3 to use.  The second best thing is preventive care. We get a great annual check up from one of the really good hospitals here.  The cost is what you might pay for a meal in a nice restaurant back home. Find out more from my blog post Annual Checkup.

If you do need medical attention it turns out we are in luck. Thailand is a center for “medical tourism” and there are great hospitals here that are very affordable. I have been sick a few times here. Nothing serious but I did need a doctor.  As always, when something interesting happens, I blogged about it (Getting Sick and Getting Better in Thailand).

Access: We have 2 children and 2 grandchildren back in the U.S. We don’t like traveling long distances too often but we do miss them. Luckily we now live in the 21^st Century and there is a wonderful invention called “Skype”. We talk often and can see our grandchildren grow (Skyping and Facebooking  – An Expat’s Lifeline). Nothing beats touch though and we’ll be visiting them this year.

Another thing I miss is TV shows, sports, and movies (I’m a popular culture junkie, what can I say?) Of course that would be something I have blogged about too (Keeping Up with Popular Culture While Living in Thailand).

Why I really live here

The real truth is, when I return to the U.S. I get bored. It is a pretty homogeneous place. Here I live in an exotic tropical land with lots of stuff going on that is new and strange to me. I am learning new stuff, learning a new language, meeting interesting people from around the world, having fresh and fascinating experiences every day. Going shopping in an outdoor market (there are lots of modern supermarkets too) is an event. Fast food here (although there are McDonalds and KFCs everywhere which I go to about once a year usually just as a reminder of why I don’t go more often) is getting stir fried veggies over rice at a roadside restaurant for a dollar.

At our last picnic lunch in our garden there were people from Thailand, Laos, Viet Nam, the UK, Australia, New Zealand, Denmark, France, South Africa and Northern Ireland.  Hard to get bored when there are that many strange accents floating around you.

When one does something new every day your brain has to revert back to a younger time. You’re back in learning mode. That forces you to think like a kid again.

Why did I retire to Thailand? Because here I have found the Fountain of Youth.