Becoming a Tourist Again

February 14, 2017

Before retiring to Thailand I spent many years as a part-time resident and a part-time tourist. Upon retiring and settling down here, my time spent doing touristy stuff in Thailand became less and less. I had forgotten what a really cool place this is to be a tourist. Then some old friends came for an extended visit and helped us to remember.

John and Denise and Pikun and I had shared a house together when John and I got jobs teaching in Iran. This was in the mid 70s, before the Iranian revolution and when the Shah was still in power. We later joined them when we moved to Seattle and have been friends ever since. After many invites to visit us here in Thailand they acquiesced and in being their tour guides for the next three weeks we also got to renew our acquaintance with them as well as with so many wonderful places that surround us here and that we had forgotten to appreciate.

Here is some of what we did. Denise had done her homework and had a bucket list of the many places to visit and things to do while here in Thailand, and we were able to check off the majority of them. I had done all of these things and visited all of these places years ago. All had changed, some for the better, some not, but I was glad to experience them all again. If you are just coming here, this tour will get you acquainted with your new home. If you have lived here a while, try revisiting them.

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Temples

Lift your eyes just about anywhere in Thailand and you’ll probably be looking up at a temple or pagoda (“chedi” in Thai). You don’t have to go to a fancy temple popular with tourists. Just about all of them are filled with beautiful artwork and architecture. We are lucky here in Chiang Mai, a city of over 300 temples, or “wats”. You can spend days going from temple to temple, as we did with churches and cathedrals on our visit to Italy. But we narrowed down our choice to two for John and Denise to tour, Wat Doi Suthep, the temple which overlooks Chiang Mai from its mountain perch, and Wat Doi Kham, our own local temple, also on a mountain, this time overlooking our house.

Wat Doi Suthep is the one temple that people say is a must visit on you trip to Chiang Mai. I myself don’t visit it often because it has become quite commercial with vendors lining every empty space along the road around the temple. But it is beautiful and on a clear day will give you a panoramic view of the city a thousand meters below. I put John and Denise on a red taxi for the trip up the mountain. The taxis queue just west of the entrance of Chiang Mai University on Huay Kaew Road and will save you from driving that winding road up the mountain.

Doi Suthep Temple overlooking the city of Chiang Mai

Doi Suthep Temple overlooking the city of Chiang Mai

My favorite temple was the one near my house on Doi Kham Mountain. Wat Doi Kham is a sister temple to Wat Doi Suthep and the temple buildings and the central chedi are replicas to the ones on Doi suthep although about a third the size. But, as happens to so many nice places around the world, Wat Doi Kham has become even more commercial than Wat Doi Suthep. What was once a quiet beautiful temple has now become inundated with visitors after a rumor that the Buddha image there will grant your wishes, and even give you the winning lottery numbers.  Denise got frisky and walked the hundreds of steps up to the temple. There are some huge Buddha images up there and she got a great view of the south of the city and the Royal Flora Park below.

The new 19 meter standing Buddha at Wat Doi Kham

The new 19 meter standing Buddha at Wat Doi Kham

We now found a temple that no tourists visit. It has only one monk and is quiet and meditative. There will probably be one just like it only doors away from you where you will be staying.

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Culture

Chiang Mai was originally a kingdom of its own. It has its own language, music, dances, and culture. One place where you can experience the culture of the north of Thailand is at the Old Chiang Mai Cultural Center just south of the city wall. There you’ll get a taste of northern Thai food, called a “Khandok” dinner, with sticky rice, barbecued chicken, northern pork stew and northern sausages. And with the dinner you’ll be entertained with Thai music and dances and the hill tribe cultures. It’s real touristy but a great place to spend an evening. The food is really good and plentiful too.

One thing to note. Northern Thais eat sitting on the floor with a small short table (the “khandok” table) holding the food. If sitting on the floor makes your old bones scream like it does mine, then request a table and chairs. You and your bones will be much happier.

Dancers at the Old Chiang Mai Cultural Center

Dancers at the Old Chiang Mai Cultural Center

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Markets

I still love Thai outdoor markets. I visit my local one almost daily and usually in the middle of every Thai town is a morning or an evening market. There are also markets that meet on designated days (“talaat not”), similar to farmers markets back home. But the one can’t-miss-market in Chiang Mai is the Sunday evening “Walking Street Market”.

The usually busy streets of the central part of the old city, within the moat, become traffic-free and by early evening the handicrafters, artists, and food vendors set up.  Just about every kind of Thai handicraft, woodcarving, garment, and art work will be there, as well as t-shirts and tourist trinkets and street foods. There are now “walking street” markets all over Asia but the one here was the first of its kind.

It’s best to go there early. We go at 4pm. By about 5:30 the streets will be crowded with market goers. By 7pm tens of thousands jam the streets. Unless you are an avid people-watcher it is a good idea to get out of there before the crowds make market browsing impossible.

The Walking Street Market (before it gets crowded).

The Walking Street Market (before it gets crowded).

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Thai gardens and flora

John and Denise spent lots of time in our garden. When you leave a cold country in the winter and land in the tropics, just hanging around a Thai garden is as good as visiting any tourist spots. Growing a garden in Thailand is almost opposite to growing one in a cold country. There you need to encourage and nurture and pray that your plants grow. Here, we spend most of our time cutting and pruning and trying to control our plants’ growth. So gardens and parks in Thailand are great places to visit.

Kham Tiang Market:  Gardening is one of the most popular leisure-time activities around the world. Thais love gardening and because of its popularity there are garden centers and flower markets in every town. There is a large market near the river here that has just about every cut flower you could think of. But for gardeners, the Kham Tiang Market is the place to go; a huge garden center where walking through it is as good as a tour through any botanical garden. From flowers, to orchids, to full grown trees, to garden statues and fountains, and Japanese koi fish, you can get anything for your garden.

Flower and plant vendors.

One of the hundreds of flower and plant vendors at the Kham Tiang Market.

 

Queen Sirikit Botanical Gardens: The Mae Saa Valley, with its elephant shows, and tiger gardens, and orchid farms, and monkey schools, and snake shows, is a big hit with foreign tourists. We drive past all of these and head for the place that most Thai tourists visit. Settled right in the mountains, the Queen Sirikit Botanical Gardens contains beautiful tended gardens as well as a group of green houses containing medicinal plants, carnivorous plants, cacti, a tropical waterfall, and lotuses. The best thing about it for us, everyone over 60 is let in for free. Check out the video.

The Royal Flora Park: In 2006 Thailand threw a highly successful International Horticultural Exhibit attracting garden exhibits from dozens of countries and 30,000 visitors a day. After the exhibit closed the park was kept open to the public and can be visited daily. There is a beautiful northern style palace (Haw Kham) and the park is used for a number of festivals including a New Years Eve countdown.

A beautiful park at the base of Doi suthep/Doi Bui National Park (with Wat Doi Kham on the mountain above)

The northern style palace, “Haw Kham”, at the base of Doi Suthep/Doi Bui National Park (with Wat Doi Kham temple on the hillside above)

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Thai History

I’m a pushover for ruins having visited Rome, and Greece, and Egypt, and our neighbor here to the east Angkor Wat. And Thailand has some really interesting ruins too, especially in the northeast. But the queen of them all is Sukhothai, the former Thai capital. After being named as a World Heritage site the ruins at Sukhothai have been spruced up and are quite beautiful. If you are doing a road trip to Sukhothai you might want to visit the nearby ruins at Sri Sachinalai Historical Park and the historical park right in the middle of Kamphaeng Phet town.

Sukhothai's restored ruins

Sukhothai’s restored ruins

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Beaches

But John and Denise’s visit wouldn’t be complete until we experienced the tropical humidity, see palm trees and rubber trees, and walk on the beaches and islands of the south. We like Trang Province because of its isolation compared to Phuket and Pi Pi Island (2 places we loved 10 years ago but never visit today). But we chose to fly down to Krabi (pronounces Kra-bee, not crab-ee). Krabi is really not Thailand anymore. The workers there are often foreigners (the hotel desk clerk Philippina, the bartender American, the waiter Nepali). But we got a room on the beach, did some island hopping, and ate lots of fresh sea food while watching the sun set over the Andaman Sea. Commercial as Krabi is, I still love the place, as did our two visitors.

Long-tail boats for island hopping

Long-tail boats for island hopping

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Lots of other stuff to do here

We visited elephants (not the show and riding kind but the more natural, happy, retired elephant kind), ate lots of Thai food (J and D learning that the Thai restaurants back in Seattle serve cuisine not anything like what we eat here), drank lots of Thai ice coffee and cappuccino fraps, and, especially John, drank lots of Thai beer and got a daily massage.

My massage story: John and I were taking a walk on the Ao Nang beach in Krabi and there were lots of massage shops set up there for tourists. John hadn’t had his daily massage so he elected to get one on the beach. Unlike John I am not addicted to Thai massage but I didn’t want to wait around so decided to get one too.

Here is what happened. I told the manager, Please be gentile. I don’t want a hard massage. I don’t want to hurt. He said sure. I lay down and waited for my masseuse. The girl working on John (who turned out to be really gentile) looked up as my masseuse arrived. She said, Oh no! You got Sumalee. It’s going to be a hard one. You’re going to hurt for sure.

When I studied karate we learned about nerve bundles and how to use them to disable our opponent by using them to inflict severe pain. Sumalee knew each one of them and dug her thumbs into every nerve bundle of mine she could find. I was still hurting 3 days later. It reminded me why I don’t get Thai massages very often. John got another one the next day.

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John and Denise got on the plane for their long trip home after their tropical sojourn. The last I heard was that there was a foot of snow on the ground in Seattle and not a masseuse to be found. I love Seattle but I am still really glad to be here.

 

 

Apologies to Arlo Guthrie and Alice

When we were packing our 40’ shipping container on our way to a retirement in Thailand one of the things we thought about was what stuff should we ship that we just couldn’t get here in Thailand. We made a long list, went shopping, packed it all up in boxes, and sent it on its way. It turns out that we were way off with our list, and in today’s Thailand you can get just about anything you want or need – almost.

Thailand is now quite a modern country where just about everything is available. Maybe a little history will help us see why we were so mistaken about what is available here now. We’ll start with an anecdote about coffee.

I choose coffee because it seems that within just a 7-iron drive’s distance from my computer (for me that’s not very far) there are at least a dozen coffee shops. The shops have on their signs (in Thai) “Kafae Sot”. This literally means “fresh coffee”, but should be interpreted as “freshly brewed” coffee.

When I first arrived in Thailand coffee was rarely encountered. Maybe if you had a meeting with a high ranking official he would offer you a cup of coffee in his office. This meant Nescafe instant coffee, at the time the only coffee available. There were no coffee shops as we know them. If coffee was ordered at a hotel or a high end restaurant, it was Nescafe, the brand name that became synonymous with “coffee” itself. The reason the ubiquitous coffee shops today need to emphasized “fresh” is to differentiate it from the instant, powdered, variety so popular in the past.

I remember when the first real coffee shop was opened in Chiang Mai, circa 1970. Its very appropriate name, “First Coffee Shop”. And coincidentally, it was just one or two shops down from where currently sits the Starbucks on Tha Phae Road.

As with coffee, so many of the things we wanted or needed that were unavailable to us back then are encountered just about everywhere in today’s Thailand.  Here is an example.

My son on a visit here saw how much ice we used (it was the hot season) and he decided that we needed an ice maker. We couldn’t find one in the market here so back in the U.S. he checked out Amazon.com and got one for us and the next time he visited he schlepped* it all the way here in his luggage. It was 110 v so we needed a heavy duty electricity converter, but the thing works great.

We later learned that all we needed to do was a little on-line shopping right here and we could have found just about whatever we are looking for. Ice makers are here. So is the food dehydrator that we were thinking would be our next “schlepping” purchase from the U.S. All are available right on a number of Thai web sites and they are of the 220 v variety so no electricity converter is necessary.

The two on-line sites we have used are Verasu and Lazada. They seem to be reliable and fast, with good prices. Besides these two Thai sites there are Chinese on-line stores that ship directly here and so does Amazon and Best Buy and lots of other international companies.  For many items, especially foreign made, their prices are often much lower than the Thai prices. But to the lower prices must be added overseas shipping costs which can be quite high, and the possibility of having to pay taxes. Because of that our son is bringing a new Android tablet for me on his next visit. In this case, schlepping will be worth it. On Best Buy the price for the Android tablet I chose is 1/3 the cost here in Thailand.

The list of what I need from back home is getting shorter and shorter. But there are still some things that are either hard to come by here, are much more expensive, or the specific brand you like may not be available.

Here are a few examples.

 

Foods

Thailand seems to have a plethora of western sausages, none of which for me are edible (although Thai sausages are quite good). I absolutely love American hot dogs. Not to be found here. When in the U.S. I buy about 10 lbs. of Hebrew National Hot Dogs, freeze them, wrap them really well, and put them in my check in luggage when I travel back to Thailand. They make it here fine, still mostly frozen, but with all their nitrates and nitrites they stay fresh and are a great reminder of home.

We also pack a bunch of good quality cheese. You can get good cheese here but the prices are quite high and the selection is limited.

I also love those Blue Diamond almonds you can get on sale in U.S. pharmacies.

But the food I crave most is Trader Joe’s Belgian Milk Chocolate. I bring about a dozen 1 lb. bars back here with me, frozen. I eat two small pieces each night. It lasts me about 6 months that way. I have one 1 lb. bar left from my last trip. Just thinking about what happens when it is finished sends me into chocolate withdrawal. Locally produced Kit Kats just don’t suffice.

 

Clothes

I am a little guy in America, but large for here. Luckily I am right at the maximum range for Thai clothes and shoe sizes so I can usually get what I need. Anyone larger than I am, and that includes most westerners, might need to get their clothes, and especially shoes, back home. This includes both men and women.

 

Electronics and sports equipment

As mentioned above, electronics, computer equipment, tablets, smart phones, computer games, and their like, are quite expensive here. U.S. on-line sites have much better prices. The same goes for sports equipment. I priced a Ping driver at a department store here the other day and it costs more than $1,000. It is more like $300 back home (I ended up buying mine used from a friend for 2,000 baht.). An archer friend of mine said he had the same experience with his bows and arrows.  Best to check prices.

 

Vitamins and supplements

These aren’t considered medication so they carry a big tax. Vitamins, even the one-a-day kind, can be quite expensive. I take one tablet of Glucosamine a day. Keeps my joints lubricated. Very expensive here. They are pricey at Costco back home but still lots cheaper than here.

 

Other stuff

We like good quality American tools, especially Craftsman from Sears.

I like a specific brand of after shave and deodorant that I can’t get here (It’s as Hannibal Lecter said after sniffing the Edward Norton character in Red Dragon, “The one with the ship on the bottle.”)

If I eat spicy foods for dinner I get stomach troubles at night and America’s Alka-Seltzer it’s the only thing that works for me, but it isn’t sold here.

We can get fitted sheets here but for some reason they don’t come with a matching flat sheet, so we buy good quality sets at home and bring them here. Be careful with these since the mattress sizes here can be different from those in the west.

What I really crave is good ice cream. Most Thai-made ice cream has never seen cream and is made with palm oil as a substitute. That is a big no no for an ice cream aficionado. You can get Haagen Dasz Ice Cream‎ here but a quart costs about as much as a good wristwatch and I won’t pay that much for an ice cream with a made up Scandinavian sounding name by two kids from New Jersey. I prefer Breyers Butter Pecan all natural ice cream and if I find a way to bring it in my luggage then the world will be spinning correctly.  (As a substitute, Thai coconut milk ice cream, sold in push carts, is quite good.)

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Request: For those already living here, to help those planning on making the move, please leave a comment if there is stuff that you can’t find here and that you bring to Thailand whenever you return from a visit home.

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I just checked and it turns out that Lazada website carries the stuff with the ship on the bottle.

I did another search and found ice cream makers and scoops but no Breyers Butter Pecan.

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*schlep: to carry or pull (something) with difficulty: to drag or haul (something).  A Yiddish word that is part of the New York vernacular I grew up speaking. No standard- English word seems to carry the same feeling.

 

Time

We know that time is a relative thing. Einstein taught us that time changes depending on the speed in which we are traveling. I now believe that time also changes depending on how old we are. It is my learned opinion that now a day consists of only about 18 hours (4 of which I can sleep if I am lucky), a week has 5 days, a month about 3 weeks, and a year, maybe just 8 months now. Those 90 day immigration reporting requirements come about every 45 days for some reason. That’s the way it appears to me now that I am 70 years old.

In a few months it seems, I will turn 80. Wow! Where did the last decade go?

Youth is wasted on the young.

– attributed to George Bernard Shaw.

When I dream I am always 18 years old (which makes it a pity that I can sleep only 4 hours a night).

And when I dream:

I was eighteen, didn’t have a care

Workin’ for peanuts, not a dime to spare

But I was lean and solid everywhere

Like a rock.

 Like a Rock, Bob Seger

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Friends

Back when I was 18 it seems like I had hundreds of friends. I’m not talking about Facebook “friends”. I’m talking about real people; people I would hang out with, travel with, party with, get high with, dream and love with. I had time for all that because a day had 36 hours back then.

You would think that the older one gets the more time we would have to accumulate more friends. I guess that I have met more than 10 thousand people in my lifetime (I once counted more than 3,000 former students.) But now I find myself spending most of my days with myself (Pikun is outside in the garden), writing, lifting bags of manure, playing music, Internet surfing, binge watching TV shows, and never missing a Seahawks game.

I have about a half dozen friends that I occasionally take a meal with or visit, and another half dozen that I email or Skype once in a while. Living 10,000 miles away from people you know makes anything more than an email/Skype relationship difficult. But once a week I play golf with a friend I have known for 40 years. We’re not getting any better at golf but our friendship continues unabated.

New friends are few and far between.

Those National Geographic shows on the Serengeti told us how things would be.

They would start out with those lion cubs, romping around all day, playing at hunting and fighting. Then the lions grew to adolescence and they did some more serious life-practice at being adults with their ”friends”. Later they would all join and work together, colleagues, to achieve their group goals, antelopes and wildebeests beware. When the male lion was mature and at the top of his game he would lay around all day, the little ones jumping all over him as he tried to snooze, waking only to go eat the food his ladies had prepared. When he got too old to lead the pride he was left to mostly wander about on his own.

I am happy now, and after retiring probably as happy as I have ever been, and if I could sleep for a solid 6 hours I would be ecstatic.  But sometimes I feel like that old lion wandering about alone. Where did all the “young lions” go?

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Older

I used to laugh when stories would depict older people grabbing the newspaper in the morning and opening to the obituary section first. I don’t read the newspapers anymore but I do note when some famous or important person passes away. I never miss the part of the Oscars when they show the pictures of all the stars who have left us this year.

Before I even look to see the reason for their demise I look to see their age. Are they older or younger than I? And if they are younger, then I look to see how they died. And I check to see if I have any of the symptoms of what they died of. So far so good (as I knock on my wooden desk).

So many of my contemporaries are “less-than-well”, or worse. Just the other day, after visiting a sick friend, of which I seem to have more and more lately, I thought to myself how lucky Pikun and I are to be healthy and happy; a few aches and pains, nothing a good session of senior complaining won’t cure. But we know that the Buddha’s truths will always be with us. If we have been born then we have getting older, becoming ill, and then leaving this mortal coil to look forward to. That’s all there is, but it is enough.

We’re okay with that, but at the same time we will continue to “Rage, rage against the dying of the light.”, but we’ll enjoy the light as long as we have it.

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Politics

I wasn’t happy with either candidate. I was a Bernie supporter and over a year ago I posted on Facebook: “If Hilary is nominated then our next president will be named Trump.

Sometimes I hate being right.

I recently posted the following on Facebook. It describes my feelings about the United States’ next presidential term.

Bizarro World: A world in which everything is opposite from the real world, down is up, wrong is right, bad is good.

Now that the president-elect, whose name shall not be spoken, has selected most of his incredibly divisive billionaire-military-general-Wall-Street-banker laden cabinet, we realize that we are living in that Bizarro World.

In this “post truth” era, a time when the truth is not important and “fake news” and fake accusations help to elect a president, and that president is the prevaricator-in-chief, then down is up, wrong is right, and bad is good. Once again Orwell has proven prescient.

How does one live in this upside down world, without rats attacking your face that is? We now know that almost every stance the Republican nominee took has been modified and revised by the president-elect, that all his promises were conditional, that even his top advisors tell us not to take what he says “literally”.  We should realized that we can believe nothing said by this administration, good or bad. It is the “post truth” era so what can we expect.

My suggestion about how to survive the next 4 years is that anytime he, or his minions say anything on TV, switch the channel. Anytime you see an article on the Internet, newspaper, or magazine, about what the administration is planning, turn the page. Don’t listen to or read any of it because it will change with the weather, and if we do, it will only make us heartsick.

In that way your mind won’t be twisted and turned by these Bizarro machination and we might come out at the other end with our sanity, although sadly maybe not our country, intact.

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Annus Horribilis

The horrible year 2016 is over. That’s the good news. Looking forward to 2017. Game of Thrones Season 7 will be upon us. Prediction: Cersei Lanester, the Mad Queen, dies a horrible and much deserved death.  If the football gods are with us, and our defense holds up, then the Seahawks will once again be in the Super Bowl. Pikun and I are going to Hawaii’s Big Island for my Peace Corps group’s reunion (for some reason it is the 48th year reunion), and we have some great friends (2 of the half dozen I still email/Skype) who we once shared a house with in of all places Iran, coming for a nice long visit. It will give us a chance to tour the country and do lots of the touristy stuff we usually put off.

And I just planted a cocoa tree.

If we are lucky then 2017 will be a huge improvement from this year and we will see our first chocolate harvest.

May 2017 be for you happy, healthy, prosperous, and peaceful.

Is “Enough” Enough?

November 17, 2016

His late Majesty, King Rama IX of Thailand, is universally mourned and loved by Thais, especially for the care and guidance of his people which he exhibited throughout his reign. The major suggestion he gave his people on how to live a happy life, which everyone in Thailand knows, from school children to golden age retirees, is embodied in the Thai term “Paw Piang” (พอเพียง).

“Paw Piang” is a simple term meaning “sufficiency, or “just enough” but as a lifestyle it carries so much more meaning. And interestingly enough, besides being a great suggestion about how Thais can live a happy life, it can apply directly to how we, as retirees in Thailand, can also enhance our existence here.

The concept of living a life with the understanding of what is “enough” can be traced way back. Twenty-five hundred years ago, one of the Lord Buddha’s basic teaching tenets was that we find the “Middle Way”. This is spelled out in the “Noble Eightfold Path”, the following of which would lead us to a life of liberation by avoiding extremes and avoiding a too austere life. Wisdom was to understand “moderation”.

At about the same time in history, all the way over in Greece, moderation was being emphasized by another of the world’s great thinkers.   Socrates enjoined us to do “Everything in moderation”, to choose the mean and avoid extremes. One of Plato’s four virtues, moderation, had a similar emphasis.

The concept of “Paw Piang” therefore is not new, but adapted to the Thai people and their way of life, it still works.

To adapt to a “Paw Piang” lifestyle Thais are encouraged to understand their current situation, to not overextend themselves, like not going into debt and buying a top of the line SUV when they really can only afford a Honda Jazz. If you have the money, go for that Honda PCX 150 motorcycle you’ve always dreamed of; if not maybe settle for a Honda Dream. They should do what they can to live more sustainable lifestyles, raising chickens for eggs, having a small vegetable garden for their own use and maybe growing a little more to sell at the market, developing handicrafts. “Paw Piang” doesn’t discourage people from reaching higher, it encourages people to know themselves and reach for the achievable, not for that “pie in the sky”. Many Thais, but not all of course, have taken this philosophy of moderation to heart.

As a young man of 22 living in Thailand I thought that moderation was about the last thing I was interested in. I am not sure what the opposite of “Paw Piang” is in Thai. Some English antonyms for “moderation” are “extreme”, “wildness”, “outrageousness”. The younger me knew them all very well.

I know now that I was lucky to have survived the many extravagances a young man in 60s and 70s Thailand participated in.  But today, as a retiree who really wants to be around a lot longer because I am so curious about how things are going to turn out, I realize that I can achieve that, live contentedly, and learn a lot from the “Paw Piang” lifestyle.

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I have often written on these pages that if one is planning on retiring here in Thailand you should first try a staggered retirement, test the waters, see if Thailand is right for you, see if you have the psyche, patience and flexibility to live in a foreign country, and then see if you can afford a lifestyle here and that you would have “enough” to live a comfortable and stimulating retirement.

It turns out that many retirees, after answering these retirement-prep questions in the affirmative, and then moving here, change.  They decide that they don’t have “enough”.

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Foreign retirees sometimes think that, with the absence of business regulations here, they could make lots of extra money, whether they need the money or not, by starting a business in Thailand. Restaurants and bars are the big dreams of some who ignore the fact that they may be in their 60s and 70s and have never run a restaurant or bar before. As with most foreign-owned business ventures in Thailand they often run into big problems, and they often lose the money they were counting on to get them to the “end”. One example: There are 6 foreign owned pizza restaurants within 1 kilometer of the PC I am writing this post on, and none of them seem to be making a profit.

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Then there are the foreign retirees, men in their “golden ages”, who once again feel a young man’s urges that they thought had been long gone. In his 6 or 7 decades on this planet he begins to feel he hasn’t had “enough” of all that.  This occurs especially when a young Thai nubile, who may or may not have ulterior motives, tells him how handsome he is, and who is more than willing to allow him to express those young-man urges once again.

I like the story of the 80 year old Chinese sage when asked what it is like not to have to worry about women and sex anymore answered with ”It’s like getting down from a wild horse.” That’s “Paw Piang”. Nevertheless, you’ll hear more than one story about old foreign “sages”, aided by the latest in chemical assistance, hopping back on to that wild horse, sometimes with marriage, sometimes with another set of children, usually holding on to that wild horse for dear life, often with quite deleterious effects on their health, sanity, and their life savings.

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I sometimes wonder why a retired person who could be happy with a small room-with-a-view wants to get back into real estate. I mean, would you join a “fight club” at this age? That’s what real estate is. Even though we as foreigners can’t own land, so many people think that what they currently have is not enough. Land is fairly cheap here so the possibility of becoming landed gentry looks inviting. Often the deeds to the land that they “own” have the names of Thai spouses, almost spouses, Thai companies, or Thai acquaintances.  I have literally seen an older foreign real estate mogul want-to-be end up with life savings gone, pot to piss in gone, along with that small room-with-a-view.

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I had drunk my lifetime quota of beer and alcohol by my mid-thirties, and have abstained since then. That is probably one reason I am in pretty good health (knocking on my wooden desk). But so many foreign retirees do the opposite of “Paw Piang” when it comes to alcohol. I have seen many a foreign retiree indulge to the point that they have used up their alcohol quotas for the next few lifetimes. I don’t give much direct advice, I tell stories, but one piece of advice I would give is a bit Socratic. One should consume alcohol in “moderation”.

*****

“Paw Piang” works for me. I have a great life working in my garden, playing golf once a week, Skyping with my kids, drinking Thai Frappuccinos, learning the piano, hanging out with old buddies once in a while, satisfying my addiction to Game of Thrones, watching my Seattle Seahawks, studying the Thai language, going down south to the beaches once a year, writing these posts and maybe occasionally helping an Expat understand this place a bit better, and each morning waking up to my roosters crowing and a brand new day.  It works for me, but we are all different and I find that “Paw Piang” is relative.

We were on a short trip with some Thai friends down in Karbi in southern Thailand. We took a short ferry ride to Kho Yao Noi, an island in the Andaman Sea with a number of resorts and empty beaches, not the white powdery type, but nice. We found a place on the beach with a beautiful view and cabins for 1,200 baht per night. Just about our speed.

While we were there we heard about a number of higher scale resorts around the island, a number going for 30,000 – 40,000 baht per night. You could even rent a luxury yacht for a “nightly rate as low as 365,000 baht”.  We were told that there was a resort up on the hill overlooking us and the bay that charged its guests 400,000 baht per night. And a local showed us pictures of the European football great Renaldo, who had just spent his honeymoon up there. Whereas we took the ferry here, they had flown in by helicopter. We hired a long tail fishing boat to take us island-hopping, they had one of those super-fast luxury speed boats.

Now my first reaction was, “That’s crazy. 400,000 baht per night!?” But then I thought about it. I could afford the 1,200 baht, maybe a little more, and the next morning I would wake up with about $50 less in my bank account than the day before.  That’s no problem.  Since Ronaldo earns $70 or $80 million a year he would probably wake up the next morning, after having spent 400,000 baht the day before, with tens of thousands of dollars more in his bank account than he started with. That is the definition of “an infinite amount of money”, that is, he could not spend all his money no matter what he bought.

This is the essence of “Paw Piang”. I was staying at the appropriate place for someone with a finite amount of assets, and he was doing what was appropriate for someone with an infinite amount of assets. Interestingly I was not in any envy. I am sure that Ronaldo and his bride ate a beautiful gourmet meal that night. We, on the other hand, had given a fisherman some money in the morning and that evening he brought us a bucketful of fresh jumbo shrimp, crabs, squid, and fish that he had caught that day. The cabin owner cooked it all up for us. Holy sea bass, Batman! That was a great meal. I don’t think Ronaldo’s could have been any better.

I went to bed overlooking the view, although at a somewhat lower altitude, of the same Andaman Sea that Ronaldo was seeing, and I was enjoying every minute of it as I am sure he was.

*****

And btw, I am still in lust for that Honda PCX 150, but my 10 year-old Honda Dream still works great. Maybe once it dies I’ll reach for the brass-ring. Until then I have more than enough to be a happy retiree here.

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